One month ago, I jetted off on a plane from Dublin airport to LAX  California. This wasn’t a random crazy spontaneous decision (sorry to burst your bubble), but something I’d planned on doing since I started college, or even before then. I remember my English teacher in school lit up when she spoke about travelling. I was always inspired by her, she said that you can’t know what or where your home is until you travel, that’s when you find out things about yourself you never knew before. She told us that we are like butterflies, raised as a catterpillar until we get wings and are big enough to fly away…

I always wanted to travel to America in the third year of my course, something I repeatedly said to myself and others so often that it didn’t sound or feel real until I actually said goodbye to my Mum and got on that plane. “What the hell are you doing, turn around now and we can all laugh about this time I tried to be independent and didn’t make it as far as my boarding gate” my mind told me as I left my mother and tried to hide the tears in my eyes. But, my inner instincts told me to keep on going. Without realising, I became a butterfly, and flew away to LAX.

So here I am, a month later, and all I hear from people at home is “you’re so lucky” and “oh my god it looks like you’re having so much fun”, or “I’m so jealous”. I believe anything is possible and if you want to travel all you have to do is gain the courage to actually book the flight, that’s the hardest part; the rest will come naturally. Anyway, I am so grateful for being able to study abroad for six months at UC Irvine. The college course is so interesting I actually enjoy doing homework, and being able to swim in an outdoor pool with the sun beaming down on you is pretty amazing. But, even though I’ve done so much and seen so much, I still get homesick. I miss being able to go ‘home’ on weekends and hide away from the world in my room when I feel like having a lazy day. I miss having familiar faces all around me and the same comfortable familiar situations of everyday college at home that I’ve grown accustomed to. I miss the green fields of Ireland, homecooked meals, my family, my boyfriend, my little twin cousins and my friends.

It’s been a really good month but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows when you’re starting in a new foreign land on your own. There’s been many days where I have found more and more reasons to love this place, then there’s been days that I wish I was at home. This, is culture shock, something I was warned about. But, I now feel after my first month, that I’m tackling culture shock pretty well. I’m starting to grow accustomed to life here. I’ve had deep conversations and spent time with people who have made it easier to be away from home. I’ve travelled to different parts of California and discovered my love for San Francisco. I’ve finally figured out how the ovens work and how to do my own laundry without shrinking anything. I am becoming more independent day by day and learning to understand the different cultures surrounding me. And, in doing this I’m starting to learn more about me too.

I can’t believe a month has passed already. Although changes and new beginnings can be uncomfortable at first, EMBRACE THE AWKWARDNESS (as one of my professors advised). Nothing is easy, and even though you are giving up home and familiarity, you are learning more than you knew yesterday and growing everyday without even realising (not literally).

I’ve only been here for four weeks and I already sound like Dora the explorer. Bad comparison, I sound like an old wise woman reminising the good old days. If you are starting over new with anything or experiencing change, I understand the fear. Change is always good, no matter what. Don’t stay a caterpillar forever comfy in your cocoon, gain the courage to fly away.

Over and out,

-Saoirse