Where the F is my charger, I thought while my phone took its last breath as I continued to manically search around the car, refusing to accept I left it at home. I let out a long disappointed sigh realising my downloaded podcast would have to wait till next time. Then put the keys in the ignition and met eyes with ‘the radio’ like an old acquaintance. I ejected the Beyoncé CD and decided today was not the day for listening to ‘Single Ladies – Put a Ring on It’ on repeat during the 40 minute journey. I normally enjoy flicking through the radio stations if I dislike a song or if I’m disinterested in the topic of conversation, but only ONE CHANNEL had signal. I was stuck.

After 30 seconds of the presenters chatting, I relaxed into the fact that whatever content I consumed was out of my control and enjoyed hearing bits of news I wouldn’t have heard had I one of MY REGULAR PODCASTS OR PLAYLISTS on. And then I reminisced on the ‘good old days’ when this was an everyday norm…

Remember being a kid in an Irish household? When we had four TV channels? My weekday highlight was the Simpsons on RTE2 at 6pm after school, then the Saturday Night BIG BIG MOVIE on RTE1 at 6.30pm. The news was a regular companion at our dinner table and I was more open to giving random movies a go because we were confined unless we used DVDS.

Buying books and movies is a more serious process than scanning the TV guide. When I enter a bookshop, I feel as if I’m searching for a partner — skimming through pages to find ‘the one’ with ideal qualities I’ll enjoy. There’s a wave of gratitude when I pay at the checkout, imagining the long process put into making the pretty book that’s now ‘mine‘. This used to be my favorite thing about stopping off at HMV as a child: choosing a classic movie I loved or a new one I hadn’t seen that suited ‘me’. The DVD was added to my personal collection I’d share with friends when they visited — the family collection we had control of.

Whereas when my friends and I click on Netflix now, I stare blankly at the endless amount of possibilities and categories of choice. We take turns passing the remote between us until a concensus is FINALLY reached after 20 minutes of debating… or we just trust Netflix’s ‘most popular’ suggestion.

Similarly, on my occasional trip to the library, I scan my membership card as if it’s a limitless credit card, baffled by the thousands of free books that could be mine (for a short while). I’m piling a load into my bag based on titles or ‘a cool picture at the front’, then find myself reading dribs and drabs, clicking the renew button every fortnight and not appreciating the process so much.

The library and Netflix are like all you can eat buffets: AMAZING at first wanting everything you can see. Then, after a few visits, you either walk around for far too long humming and hawing about what to have, or you stick to your old reliables, returning to the genres you are comfortable with. e.g. Me unconsciously clicking on Friends or Peep Show even though I’ve seen them a million times.

In the 21st century, we have more freedom to manage our time efficiently and express our identities online. We consciously select what parts of ourselves to share on Instagram. We organise our music into playlists on Spotify then share our ‘most listened to’ artists at the end of the year. We check off books on Goodreads, emphasising how many we’ve read. We plan our holidays and tick off our destinations. We even track our steps and celebrate long distances. We are consciously showing as well as watching. We can get more caught up in searching and creating what we like that we might miss the moment we are in.

Are movies, books, podcasts and music becoming more about consumerism and identity? Costumes for Tinder bios and Instagram posts rather than made for enjoyment? Or can they be both?

We are encouraged to express ourselves and define who we are with the world using labels e.g. name, occupation, degree, gender, age, favorite movie/artist/food… etc. For instance, try filling out a dating app profile and you could be tempted to stare at yourself in the mirror for 30 minutes questioning who the hell you are. Does ‘dog lover’, ‘travel’ and ‘coffee’ suffice?

We all build daily habits and routines – some conscious, others unconscious. We might not have time for watching a long movie we ‘just know’ we won’t enjoy (unless it’s trending in popularity) but we will mindlessly scroll through TikTok videos. A lot of self-help books encourage making the most of every single moment and controlling the content you consume. Atomic Habits lists techniques to assist you to a happier and more productive self.

But when we limit ourselves to one source, filter out the crap and only focus on what we like, are we skipping other opinions and the chance to broaden our horizons? If we jump to the Lifestyle Section of the newspaper, are we not concerned about the Sport, Politics, Arts – even a little?

Venturing out of your comfort zone with genres you’re ‘not used to’ can help you reflect on your opinions and values. Listening to people we don’t agree with or content we don’t like doesn’t have to be ‘wasted time’ as it helps us grow and become more open-minded as we evolve our stances further. Giving various long form books and movies your full attention can be educational as well as enjoyable.

We are always changing and evolving, as is the world. Even if you’re comfortable with your familiar routine, it’s worth remembering we can’t fully control everything in our lives (like forgetting your phone charger at home), because life and people are imperfect and unpredictable. Instead of fast forwarding through a ‘boring’ part of a show or selecting ‘skip’ at the start of a new song, consider taking a deep breath and giving it a chance first.