I left my phone at home and went for a walk in the woods on my own. I know that my mum would shake her head and have a heap of lectures at the ready after reading that sentence.

I was feeling overwhelmed after scrolling though social media for longer than necessary, needing space from screens as well as my usual scenery. Sitting behind the wheel and venturing to a new place usually seems to do the job.

When I parked outside the woods, another car pulled up right beside me in the empty parking lot. A man who was also driving alone. My initial reaction was maybe we will have a romantic meet cute as we exit our cars simultaneously. But when I opened the door and pulled down my skirt from behind, a new thought emerged:

I’ve never walked in these woods before and it is the evening time, what if this guy is a predator? I’m a bimbo blonde who’s extremely emotional looking for an escape in the woods wearing a short skirt and tights, plus my phone is gonzo. Nobody knows where I am.

What started as a spontaneous magical escape from the world became a horror movie in my head. Instead of enjoying the blissful silence and dozens of trees upon entering the woods, I was on high alert wondering where all the other people were? I picked up my pace despite the fact my shoelace was loose, then instantly relaxed at the sound of kids playing. Dogs barking. Friends chatting. Lads kicking footballs. Leaves rustling. I calmed down and appreciated the walk.

Was it all in my head? I hated how I considered leaving the woods and walking on the street because I was worried about the possibility of getting attacked by a man who was my potential future husband minutes before. I could see headlines:

Young woman in twenties is attacked while walking alone in dark woods wearing skirt and tights. No phone. What did she expect?

My mood picked up when I rubbed a couple of doggies. But I later noticed the same dogs growling at a man wearing all black. So maybe there is also a stigma with males walking alone hidden under hoods, presumed to be a predator up to no good. Whereas, if you have jogging gear on, you must be going for a walk. And if you’re wearing a short skirt and tights, you must be asking for it.

Though this story is based on a narrative I concocted in my mind, it is a narrative familiar to us all — Hansel and Gretel is just one example from our favorite childhood stories which stigmatises independent women as witches and the woods as a dangerous place. But there are also very real scary stories in our everyday life where the media blames the victim’s clothing or the location they were walking rather than focusing on the actions of the perpetrator.

These are real fears that we, especially women, face on a regular basis when walking alone. Does this mean we should stop going places alone, change the way we dress and always be on high alert succumbing to the narrative? God I hope not cos visiting new places and solo adventures makes me feel alive. I don’t want to have to always bring someone to hold my hand. But sometimes it feels as if we need to. And I’ll likely bring my phone anymore for reassurance. I guess all we can do is be aware of how the people around us might be feeling and help each other out by respecting people’s space. And remind ourselves that each of us always has a part to play in these societal narratives with the language we use when talking with others.