There’s something romantic about taking yourself out to a coffee shop. About bringing yourself for walks. About writing letters to yourself. Figuring out who you are. Taking yourself out and treating yourself well. Some people feel sorry for those who spend Sundays alone in a coffee shop, their only company a book and a mug. I have always been envious of these people. The ones who are so comfortable in their own skin. The ones who don’t always have to engage in conversation. The ones who travel into the wilderness not sure what they will find in it. But I’m learning that I need a balance. I enjoy the company of others. I enjoy learning about people, listening to people, watching people and chatting with people. But I also love spending time alone and doing new things on my own.

I suppose it is true that we learn the most about who we are when we bring other people into the equation. I mean, I do believe I learn a lot in the silence of solitude as my thoughts and emotions float up to the surface and things begin to make more sense. That feeling that’s been gnawing at my body reveals all its connections and tangled up wires. I can use the space of solitude to cut through them.

But sometimes I get so bogged down by thoughts and feelings that I begin to associate myself with them. Sometimes I am so focused on fixing them that I forget who I am outside of them. Other people often help show me what they see, remind me of how far I’ve come and who I am outside of all the feelings. Though there are some people that can amplify the thoughts and feelings, leaving me more overwhelmed and confused than I initially was.

This is where we all have power in deciding who we actively choose to spend our time with and the environments we choose to be in. Of course, interruptions and unexpected encounters and spontaneous adventures are all what make life worth living. But we also need to balance that uncertainty out with plenty of people and places that feel safe, that help shelter our own light within. Whenever darkness comes, they’ll shine onto us and reflect back the beauty we can no longer see clearly. They’ll help us find our feet as we step onto a new path and learn to walk again.