“We’re cut off from the whole world because of this power outage.”

“But is what’s happening on the TV and on our phones really ‘the whole world’?”

The power has been out for three days and I’m starting to get used to moving between rooms with a candle in hand, one that doesn’t have a strong scent, but you’d feel calmer from looking at it. I set it down on the table before taking a walk outside. I shut the door behind me and I’m greeted by this vast abyss of darkness. I’m comforted knowing that there are mountains and a lake up ahead of me somewhere, but they’re not as easy to spot tonight. The only light in the surrounding area is from the stars covering the sky. I look up, take a deep breath in, before letting it all out. I’m smiling at the stars. This, right here. This is the whole world.

~ Yes, and how many times must a man look up before he can see the sky? ~

I’m not sure when, but at some point, this device in my pocket became my companion. It’s like a special key that gives access to so many people’s doors. I’m like a burglar, or maybe a stalker would be more fitting, since I’m watching what’s going on in everyone’s homes; an outsider looking in. Should I like their post and let them know I’m watching? Should I comment and hope for an invitation to come inside?

I can enter into neighbours’ homes through their shared pictures on Instagram, but how many would open their front door to me? I can find out what someone over the road thinks about politics, but how does this change my relationship to that person, or should it? I know what my friend had for dinner last night, but I haven’t a clue about anything else going on in his life lately.

“It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long since we last spoke cos I follow all your social media posts so I know what you’re up to,” a friend said to me recently. She wasn’t the first or last person who said something along the lines of this, which made me realise how my communication style with friends has changed. How our way of keeping in touch is no longer picking up the landline and asking their parents if they can come to the phone – laughing and chatting for hours. It’s not sending a postcard to let them know that they were on my mind. It’s now watching what they’re doing. Communication is done through likes and views, tags and reels, shares and comments.

What does this feel like? I think it feels a bit distant.

Even though you might be hearing from more people than usual, you’re lacking the depth of intimacy. It’s weird that I can know all this stuff about an acquaintance I haven’t seen in years, but when they stand in front of me still feel like a complete stranger (except now I’m a stranger who knows where you celebrated your birthday last week). I can chat with someone who’s 10,000 miles away more regularly than a family member in the next room. So, it makes sense to think that this ability should be bringing us all closer together rather than pushing us further apart, doesn’t it?

I didn’t start writing this piece to preach about the impact of technology and social media.  I don’t intend on figuring it all out and I don’t believe we all would come up with the same answer if we tried because each person relates to it in their own unique way. I’m just speculating how this whole thing is shaping the way I view the world and the way I interact with the world. I’m reminding myself that I do have choice in how I communicate in this world, whether that’s through opening my device or through opening up my front door. Whether I want to stare at a screen or watch the flames in a fire.

I’m wondering how much of my friends’ nights in bars I need to be witnessing. How much of all this stuff that’s going on globally I really need to be seeing. How much of it I really am seeing. How much is filtered and covered. How much of this information is reliable, how much of it is useful, and who is it that determines what ‘useful’ even is? I don’t know. I’m not sure. It’s great in many ways. It’s bringing more awareness to lots of things and can be powerful if used wisely. But you know what else is great? Looking up at the stars. Do you know what else is important to be aware of? The people in front of you and what’s happening around you.

~ How many times can a man turn his head and pretend that he just doesn’t see?

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind ~